Our Response to the World

Over the past several weeks, we have looked how world views affect our internal struggles and also how people may view and respond to us as stay at home wives.  Now we get to our response to the world.  Our goals in our responses are to give God the glory and to be able to share our faith.  Every person that we are in contact with will need a unique response, but I just wanted to go over some common areas that most SAHWs face.

Unsacred Marriage

 

I won’t even go into statistics in this post, because everyone can quote divorce rates, people living together before marriage, and unwed mothers.  I understand why most secularists don’t see the point of marriage, even I wouldn’t if I wasn’t a Christian.  I also understand why marriage is turning into a free-for-all; what does it matter if you take God out of marriage?

And this leads us to the last of societies views that we have to battle, or that might be something that you personally have to deal with before you quit your job.  This is not a post directed at convincing you to get married or who should get married, etc., but to defend Christian marriages to Christians.  Many view marriage as something that you can get out of through a divorce if it doesn’t work out.  Let me tell you, if you go into marriage already believing it might or probably will fail, it will.  Ever hear of self-fulfilling prophesies?  What effort would you put into your marriage if you think it might fail?

Trust in your husband and more importantly God

 

Last week, we talked about how women can try to prove that they are superior to men.  We examined a passage is Genesis that talked about our role and how we are equal creations of His that have different roles.  One of the reasons for this was because men have, and continue to do so, abused their role of leader.  So women have been viewed as a lesser creature.

A major issue you might encounter on your way to becoming a SAHW is the fact that once you quit working, your husband will be the sole breadwinner in the family.  And that can be scary for many reasons.

Better Than Men

 

I don’t think I need to even try to convince you that women in general nowadays feel like they need to prove that they are better than men.  It seems like men throughout history and in the Bible have been seen by both secularists and many ignorant Christians as chauvinistic pigs that try to put down women and make them the inferior sex.

I won’t argue that throughout history and even today many men act like this.  They believe they are better and that women are just there to serve them.  They have perverted their position that God gave men of looking out for and caring for women, and have used it as power over women.  How this must grieve God’s heart to see one of His creation treating another so abominably.

1950's Housewife

 

When most people hear the word “housewife,” they automatically think of the 1950’s.  June Cleaver.  The perfect housewife, with the perfect home, perfect marriage, and while mischievous, ultimately good children.  The housewife that cleans in a beautiful dress, pearls, and heels.

Personally, for me, as an “I Love Lucy” fan, I think of Lucy Ricardo as a housewife.  A very different view than the Cleaver mentality.  Lucy is not the perfect housewife, but usually is messy or late or spends too much money.  Her home is not always immaculate, although many times looks pretty good.  Her marriage, while presumably stable, has its own issues.  She constantly tries to get around what her husband says and more than a few times lies to him, although not always very convincingly.

Book Review: A Moment in Time

A Moment in Time

by: Tracie Peterson

It is time for another book review!  I have received a copy of this book from Bethany House Publishing through NetGalley to write a review.

"In A Moment in Time, the second book in Tracie Peterson's Lone Star Bride series, Alice Chesterfield is shaken by the attack that left her scarred and her father dead. She cannot shake the memory of the man responsible.

"Alice is relieved when she accepts the offer to relocate to a ranch in Dallas, Texas. She meets Robert Barnett, a handsome, carefree man with a good head on his shoulders. He is a welcome change from the discord of Alice's past. He helps her navigate the obstacles in her way and he doesn't seem to care about her scar. Just when life begins returning to normal, Alice receives devastating news about her family. She must learn to place her trust in God as she seeks a measure of peace for her future...and for her heart."  (www.familychiristian.com)

Stay at Home Wife in 2014

I believe that I am worth the same as a man.  I believe that I can do most things that men can do, sometimes better, sometimes worse.  I believe that I should be able to live by the same rules according to government standards that men live by.  I should be able to work if I want and make the same amount of money for the same amount of effort and skill.  I deserve to be heard in the political realm and be able to vote on what is happening in our country if I so choose to do so.

I, however, do not believe that I need to assert myself over men.  I am dismayed by what has happened to the “men” of our society.  Man-babies that refuse to get married, while looking for the next conquest in the bed, all the while watching sophomoric, bathroom humor movies.  Am I talking about collage age men?  Nope.  Those 30-somethings out there.

Don't Hope for the Easy Life!

Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.  (Psalm 34:19)

In today’s world, it’s hard to find anything that doesn’t speak to making life easier, relaxation, free time, or doing what you want.  We’re told to put money away for retirement, so that we can have tens of years of free time to our leisure.  Technology is always for the next big thing of making things easier or doing our job for us.  Our entire world seems to be focused towards having a happy, easy life of doing exactly as we please.

Don’t get me wrong, I also wish life could be simple, easy.  If money only grew on trees.  If that certain person would just be nice.  If I didn’t have to do…  If I didn’t have to feel…  If only I…

My Personal Style of Modesty

 

We are finally to the last post of the series on modesty.  Sorry it’s so late; it’s been a crazy couple of weeks here.  This post has literally sat open on my desktop for about two weeks.  Over the past month or so, we have looked at the heart of the issue of modesty: what exactly is modesty, our motivation, our love of our God and others, our self-control, and how the world has corrupted modesty.

As promised, today I wanted to spend just a few minutes on what specifically I felt modesty looks like when I dress myself.  These are my “rules” for myself as of right now, where I feel called to be at this particular time.  Your ideals of modesty might be less or more than mine.  We are all in different areas of where God calls us to be.  My hope in writing this is for you to see how my heart shows through the decisions that I make.  I want you to be inspired to do what you feel God is calling you to do in dressing modestly.

Modesty—Beautiful & Sexy Christian

 

Women were made to be beautiful and sexy!

Now I know at the beginning of this series, I made a comment that it isn’t true that Christian women can be sexy and not promiscuous.  And I still stand by that when it is on display for all to see.  However, God did design women to be beautiful and sexy.

First of all, God made women to be beautiful.  It’s not something we should be ashamed of or think otherwise.  We were made to look attractive.  You will find many, many references to women being beautiful in the Bible.  Sarah, Rebekah, and Esther were all said to be beautiful.  Genesis points out, albeit as related to the corruption of humans, that “the sons of God saw that the daughters of man were attractive” (Genesis 5:2).  Psalms even calls out that “the king will desire your beauty” (Psalm 45:11a).  These are just a few of the countless examples showing that women were made to be beautiful.  Even the adulteresses and the prostitutes are called beautiful many times.  However, the problem arises, as we’ve talked about previously, when this beauty is fixated upon or is used to manipulate.

Women were made to be desirable and sexy as well!  But the key to that statement is within the confines of marriage and only for their husband.  When it is taken outside of the marriage, the woman is an adulterer or prostitute in the Bible.  However, within marriage, it is something to be celebrated.  All you have to do is read Song of Solomon to understand this.  It goes into great detail to describe the desire the man has for his fiancé/wife.  It also has the chorus that keeps saying to not wake love until you are ready, as in don’t go there until you are married.

But Song of Solomon is not the only place that we find this.

Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.  Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets?  Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you.  Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe.  Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverbs 5:15-19)

Here is another example of a man being told to only desire his “lovely” wife and then it goes on to describe very specifically what should fill him with delight and that he should be “intoxicated” with her love.

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)

Can I make the logical connection here?  If a man did not think women were beautiful, if he did not desire sexual intimacy with her, would there be a “temptation to sexual immorality?”  I don’t think so.  For that matter, if everyone found each other neutral or ugly looking, would sexual immorality even exist?  The problem as I always see it in the Bible is when beauty is fixated upon or used to control.  The prostitute uses her body to entice.  The vain person uses their beauty to elicit praise or adoration.  Than man looks and lusts after a woman in his heart.  Sexual feelings are awakened (felt, focused on, and even acted upon) before the person is wed.

So yes, I can be a Christian woman who is beautiful.  And yes, I can be a Christian woman who is sexy—for my husband.  However, outside of my husband-only viewing, I would be promiscuous if I were to act or dress sexy.  And that’s where the problem comes in our society today.  So as a Christian woman, I stand for the sexy wife!  Last week, we talked about modesty that was corrupted by the world.  A Christian wife that is not allowed to be sexy and desirable for her husband is wrong (which is usually the complaint of people fighting against modesty).  As the above verse from 1 Corinthians states, we are to give our husbands his conjugal rights.  Are you going to do that looking ugly?  Are you not going to shower for weeks?  Of course not, just keep it for your husbands only.

through His grace alone!

Sarah

Book Review: Raising a Lady in Waiting

Raising a Lady in Waiting

by: Jackie Kendall

It is time for another book review!  I have received a copy of this book from Destiny Image through NetGalley to write a review.

In a culture that emphasizes finding the right pair of jeans over waiting for the right man, there is no time to sit back and hope everything just pans out. Mom, you are your daughter’s greatest influence, mentor and relationship coach - and it's time to take action!

The most important decision of your daughter’s life is who will be her Master; the second is who will be her "mister." You play a vital role in preparing her to make this choice. In Raising a Lady in Waiting: Parent's Guide to Helping Your Daughter Avoid a Bozo, bestselling author Jackie Kendall opens her heart and candidly shares four decades’ worth of experience with mothers who are raising daughters to navigate the challenges of relationships.  (familychristian.com)

Modesty—Corrupted by the World

When Adam and Eve sinned, not only were they cursed, but everything else in this world was also placed under the curse.  So it should not surprise us that modesty has been corrupted by the world.

The world tells women that they should show their bodies for pride and self-confidence.  It’s freeing and liberating.  Playboy is for the power of women.  Dressing sexy is to show our confidence in ourselves and how good our bodies look.  We do not need to cover up from the world, but expose ourselves to not be controlled by the world.

Book Review: Full Steam Ahead

Full Steam Ahead

by: Karen Witemeyer

It is time for a book review!  I have received a copy of this book in order for me to read and review from Bethany House Publishers. So, without further ado, we are off to the summary and review!

Is it abandon ship or full steam ahead between a reclusive scientist and a wealthy debutante in Karen Witemeyer's Full Steam Ahead?

Nicole Renard returns home to Galveston, Texas, to find her father deathly ill. Though she loves him, Nicole's father has always focused on what she's not. Not male. Not married. Not able to run Renard Shipping.

Vowing to find a suitable husband to give her father the heir he desires before it's too late, Nicole sets out with the Renard family's greatest treasure as her dowry: the highly coveted Lafitte Dagger. But her father's rivals come after the dagger, forcing a change in Nicole's plans.

After a boiler explosion aboard the Louisiana nearly took his life, Darius Thornton has been a man obsessed. He will do anything to stop even one more steamship disaster. Even if it means letting a female secretary into his secluded world.

Nicole is determined not to let her odd employer scare her off with his explosive experiments, yet when respect and mutual attraction grow between them, a new fear arises. How can she acquire an heir for her father when her heart belongs to another? And when her father's rivals discover her hiding place, will she have to choose between that love and her family's legacy?  (familychristian.com)

Modesty — Cares About Others

 

I know that this week’s topic can be kind of controversial.  Usually there is much heated debate on blogs and Facebook about this subject.  However, it is very important to modesty, and one of the many reasons we are called to be modest.  So, I cannot write without addressing the topic of dressing with a concern towards others’ weaknesses in sin.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  (Matthew 5:27-28)

This is not to say that the person who wears skimpy clothing is responsible for that guy’s sin of thought. 

An Open Letter to My Husband on His Birthday

 

To my one,

With all that we have going on, the craziness our year has become and may further continue to be, I want to take a moment to wish you a most blessed birthday.  We’ve known each other for almost eleven years, been married almost seven, and there is no one in this world I would rather be bound to for this lifetime on Earth than you.

Modesty is Self-Control

 

Self-control.

Those dreaded words that are not used so much anymore in our society that is more concerned with bigger and better things than what we presently have.  Those dreaded words when we want something that we know probably won’t give us what we want, but we take it anyways; we act on it anyways.

Is this how God calls us to act?

Modesty—Glorifies God, Part 2

Another question that I posed at the beginning of the series was:

Do I even have a right to address this topic to other Christians?  Let’s not judge, right?

Well, besides the fact that God cares and gives me the authority to talk about such a topic, what I want to go into deeper today is how we approach a fellow Christian when they are not acting or dressing modestly.

Modesty—Glorifies God

So we know that God calls for us to be modest, but why?  I would say that the main reason for modesty, and really all things that we do, is to bring glory to God. 

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.  (1 Corinthians 10:31)

That is why we were created, and we usually fail miserably at it.  Our own desires war against us.  Satan and his gang are out to discredit and destroy anything that would bring glory to God.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.  (Ephesians 6:12)

We don’t have a chance, right?

Modesty — Prescribed by God

 

Whenever I start with any topic, especially ones that are not so clearly laid out, I also check to make sure that it is something that God cares about through His Word.  Modesty is no different.

Modesty is used a decent amount of times in the ESV translation (and others), yet it’s when you really dig deep into the Word that you see it throughout the entire Bible.  From Genesis to Revelation, I am almost positive that I could find some sort of mention in each of the sixty-six books.  That’s because modesty is so much more than just how we dress, and it is most definitely prescribed by God.  That also means that it applies to women of all ages, not just the teenagers or 20-somethings as most of our society is concerned with today.

Modesty? Pshaw!

Before I go any further, I want to tell you a little bit about my journey, so that you understand where I’m coming from.  Since this topic is such a hot-button issue, I want you to know that I come to it from an angle of love and understanding and not critical judgment.  Not that many years ago, I would have laughed in your face if you started to talk to me about modesty and then I would have promptly ignored you.

And now I’m writing a whole series on it, so let me tell you my tale…

[mis]Adventures in Rendering Lard

On our path to be more natural and healthy, we purchased a half pig and quarter cow from a local farmer.  We got the pig already, but we are still waiting on the cow.  The animals that we got are raised on a healthy diet, with no hormones or antibiotics, and our cow is mostly grass-fed.  That means that the fat of the animals are nutrient full, and we didn’t want the free fat to go to waste, so I decided to render lard.

Modesty: A Heart Issue

I felt like God has been putting modesty on my heart lately, not just for myself (that’s been an ongoing process for the last several years) but to write about.  Turn on the TV and you can see the different views of modest held by Christians.  There is a show where parents to children are concerned about modesty and run on the very conservative side.  Then there is a Christian TV actress has been quoted multiple times about wanting to show modesty and share her testimony, while being on a dancing show definitely not known for modesty.  My questions are these:

He is Risen!

He is risen indeed!  For Christians, we cannot have the crucifixion be the end of the story.  And it’s not!  Our Lord rose on the third day, appeared to many, told us to share the gospel, and then ascended into heaven.  He is alive!  And He will be back on Earth again someday!  Amen!!!

-----------------------------------------------------

Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb.  So she ran and went to Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid him.”  So Peter went out with the other disciple, and they were going toward the tomb.  Both of them were running together, but the other disciple outran Peter and reached the tomb first.  And stooping to look in, he saw the linen cloths lying there, but he did not go in.  Then Simon Peter came, following him, and went into the tomb. He saw the linen cloths lying there, and the face cloth, which had been on Jesus' head, not lying with the linen cloths but folded up in a place by itself.  Then the other disciple, who had reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not understand the Scripture, that he must rise from the dead.  Then the disciples went back to their homes. (John 20:1-10)

Good Friday – The Crucifixion

Instead of doing a homemaking post, I have decided to post scripture from when Jesus was delivered to the crowd until before he is resurrected.  I have tried to put together Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John into a cohesive story as best I can.

__________________________________________________

Jesus answered [Pilate], “You would have no authority over me at all unless it had been given you from above. Therefore he who delivered me over to you has the greater sin.”  (John 19:11)

Then the soldiers of the governor took Jesus into the governor's headquarters, and they gathered the whole battalion before him. And they stripped him and put a scarlet robe on him, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” And they spit on him and took the reed and struck him on the head. And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the robe and put his own clothes on him and led him away to crucify him.  (Matthew 27:27-31)

Pilate: Choosing Inaction

This week is a glorious week for Christians for we celebrate everything that our lives revolve around.

Our crucified and risen Lord!

Our propitiation for our sins!

The new covenant!

For me, since I grew up in the church, I have heard about the saving of our sins since I was little.  I have heard the story told many times.  I have participated in choir programs that have told the story and worshiped our Lord.  But it never gets old.

Will we always understand?

I think that’s always the question I want answered every time I come up against something.

“Please let me understand, Lord!”  I cry.

But will we always understand why we go through trials?  Will we understand why bad things happen in our lives?

Our Response

I have found in almost all situations we are in that there are three stages.  First, there is whatever has happened.  Second, there is the initial gut reaction.  And then there is our response.

Our true response comes from the heart and it is what we are judged on:

If you say, “Behold, we did not know this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it?  Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?  (Proverbs 24:12)

This is why it is so important.  We have been talking about coming up against difficulties when we have felt that we are following God’s will.  First, we have the closed door or blocked path.  Then, we have the initial, “is this what I’m supposed to be doing?”  But the most important thing of all in this is our response.

So what should our response be?

Forget Thomas. I’m the one who doubts!

Let me just start off by saying that this post took me a long time to write.  I kept finding example after example after example of people who doubted God’s plan for their life, doubted Jesus, doubted His work, that it was hard to pick an example.  After deciding on the one that I would use to represent what I wanted to say in this post and still having all the rest on my mind, I have to say that I can’t think of a more useful tool to derail a Christian from what God wants him/her to do than doubt.

White Bread Recipe

Sorry this is the first day that I’ve been able to post on my blog this week.  We’ve had a pretty busy week here, but as promised I have my recipe for one of my favorite breads to make in the bread machine.  Here is the basic recipe:

White Bread

Baking with a bread machine

After last week, you took the plunge and bought a bread machine (or maybe you have one already and haven’t really used it).  I want to talk about some of the things that I’ve learned as I’ve used my own machine.  Without further ado, here are 10 tips for baking bread:

Am I within God’s will?

Whenever we feel that we are following God’s will and we come up against struggles, the first question we should ask ourselves is:

Am I within God’s will?

Bread Machine 101

Hi.

My name is Sarah.

I am addicted to my bread machine and crock-pots.

It’s been two days since I’ve used either (mostly because my husband has been off and we’ve been busy…).

Yes, it is true. I love, love, love… my bread machine and crock-pots (yes, with a “s,”  I have 3 as of right now).  Sometime in the future, I hope to share more with you on my love affair with crock-pots, but as the title says, this is “Bread Machine 101.”

When God’s plan seems like an impossible feat…

I think most of us have been there before.  You prayed for direction on something or just your life in general.  You felt like God was telling you where to go as you prayed and read your Bible.  The task ahead seemed arduous, but you knew that with God anything was possible.  You persevered.  And then one thing came into your path after another after another after another………….

Welcome to A Wife of Grace!

Our lives can be crazy, can’t they?  Just try to plan out your day and this list will just not stop.  Sometimes you can feel like you can’t keep up.  Maybe you’re a wife.  Maybe you’re a mom (even to just furry babies).

That’s crazy enough.  Add on being a Christian who cares about their faith.  Who cares about glorifying God.  Who cares about standing for what the Bible stands for.

I bet you know where I’m going with this.  It’s hard, but we’ve got God with us to help us.  We’ve got his love, kindness, and forgiveness to pour out on to others.  We have his wisdom found in the Bible.  And we have his hand upon our lives if we let him.  And yes, we have an abundance of His Grace when we fail.

None of us are perfect, especially me.  But I am one of His.  I want to share with you all the ways he is leading me and guiding me.  All that I’ve learned from many years of studying the Bible.  Will I always be right?  Of course not.  But that can’t stop me from living out the call in the Bible to teach and rebuke other Christians (look it up reference: ).  I will try to be as accurate as I can be.  Within his Word as best that I can be in my not perfect human state.  But I hope to encourage and build you up as we learn and live together.

Want to know what you’ll find here?  Well, of course there will theology, mostly pertaining to women or wives, but also just general theology.  I hope to have some sort of express of God’s wonderful creatorship through pictures, hymns, that sort of thing.  And of course some homemaking ideas and recipes.

Join me each week as we explore the Bible and homemaking with a God-focus.

through His Grace alone!

Sarah

Also, if you haven't seen it already, check out my husband's and my website to learn more about us, my husband's blog, or like us on Facebook.