Trust in your husband and more importantly God

 

Last week, we talked about how women can try to prove that they are superior to men.  We examined a passage is Genesis that talked about our role and how we are equal creations of His that have different roles.  One of the reasons for this was because men have, and continue to do so, abused their role of leader.  So women have been viewed as a lesser creature.

A major issue you might encounter on your way to becoming a SAHW is the fact that once you quit working, your husband will be the sole breadwinner in the family.  And that can be scary for many reasons.

What happens if your husband loses his job?

The financial instability can be terrifying.  I regularly have to work against this fear since my husband’s company is directly affected by fluctuations in the economy.  Many times he comes home to tell me that layoffs have happened again at his work, but he made it through.  Other times, it’s that his overtime has been cut, and our income is reduced significantly.  So, I had to learn to work through the fear by praying and trusting God with my husband’s job; if you pray and then are sick with worry, how much trust does that show in God?  I have to constantly remind myself of all that God has provided for me and will continue to provide for me.  And by doing this, I find so much to be able to give God thanks for.  A regular prayer of mine is for God to protect my husband’s job from future layoffs; he might not fulfill this prayer in the way I think, but he will provide for us.  My husband and I have also sat down and talked about our plan that would go into effect if he were to lose his job so that we are prepared; this step actually took a lot of pressure off of us.  Lastly, even if you don’t feel like you have any money to save, figure out a way to do it.  I’m sure if your husband lost his job, you would be able to find a million ways to save on expenses, and money in the savings, no matter how small, will help.

If I don’t bring in the money, I don’t have a say in how it is used.

The true fear here is inferiority, and this is one that definitely has to be talked through and agreed upon before you quit your job.  Many people do believe this to be true, and while some people don’t mind, others feel degraded by this.  This is how we see it in our marriage.  My husband is the head of our house, so that means he is the head of our finances.  He watches the budget, where our money is spent, and handles ALL final financial decisions.  While I have a say in many matters, it is not my decision.  Now, this works for us for several reasons.  First, my husband is very generous and wants to make me happy.  He will almost constantly put my happiness over his in the matters of our finances.  I don’t have to worry that he’ll spend money on himself and then tell me I can’t.  Another reason is that if he ever buys a want for himself he will check in with me, both out of courtesy and in case I know of any expense that will come.  You see, I pay the bills because I am much better at sticking on top of the paperwork than he is.  And yes, this means that for every purchase I make, I ask first.  It’s not because he is more important than me, but that is the role we both agreed upon.  We tried where both of us were in charge of the finances and made decisions on our own.  You know what happened?  We overspent, a lot.  So to be more financially stable, we agreed on the hierarchy of our financial decisions.  You just have to accept that your husband might make mistakes just like any other part of life and be willing to work with him, otherwise you’ll just bank bitterness.  And while this works for us, you and your husband need to talk about what will work for you.

Again, people will judge us for the decision that we made by thinking that I am less important or my husband is controlling me.

I don’t know about you, but as I worked through all the reasons society has influenced us against women not working, I get more and more angry and indignant.  First, they didn’t like people telling them they couldn’t work and had to stay at home, and now I have to hear that I can’t stay at home?  Sorry, but I have no interest in having an inferior marriage where we either:

A. fight all the time

B. become roommates

C. divorce

Many of the fears that come from not wanting to quit our jobs and letting our husbands be the sole breadwinner comes down to a lack of trust in God and our husbands.  Let us not put our trust in jobs or money, which will ultimately let us down and lead us from God.  We must learn to work through these two to be able to be successful as SAHWs.

Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not turn to the proud, to those who go astray after a lie!  You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you!  I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told.  (Psalm 40:4-5)

through His grace alone!

Sarah