My Personal Style of Modesty

 

We are finally to the last post of the series on modesty.  Sorry it’s so late; it’s been a crazy couple of weeks here.  This post has literally sat open on my desktop for about two weeks.  Over the past month or so, we have looked at the heart of the issue of modesty: what exactly is modesty, our motivation, our love of our God and others, our self-control, and how the world has corrupted modesty.

As promised, today I wanted to spend just a few minutes on what specifically I felt modesty looks like when I dress myself.  These are my “rules” for myself as of right now, where I feel called to be at this particular time.  Your ideals of modesty might be less or more than mine.  We are all in different areas of where God calls us to be.  My hope in writing this is for you to see how my heart shows through the decisions that I make.  I want you to be inspired to do what you feel God is calling you to do in dressing modestly.

Modesty—Beautiful & Sexy Christian

 

Women were made to be beautiful and sexy!

Now I know at the beginning of this series, I made a comment that it isn’t true that Christian women can be sexy and not promiscuous.  And I still stand by that when it is on display for all to see.  However, God did design women to be beautiful and sexy.

First of all, God made women to be beautiful.  It’s not something we should be ashamed of or think otherwise.  We were made to look attractive.  You will find many, many references to women being beautiful in the Bible.  Sarah, Rebekah, and Esther were all said to be beautiful.  Genesis points out, albeit as related to the corruption of humans, that “the sons of God saw that the daughters of man were attractive” (Genesis 5:2).  Psalms even calls out that “the king will desire your beauty” (Psalm 45:11a).  These are just a few of the countless examples showing that women were made to be beautiful.  Even the adulteresses and the prostitutes are called beautiful many times.  However, the problem arises, as we’ve talked about previously, when this beauty is fixated upon or is used to manipulate.

Women were made to be desirable and sexy as well!  But the key to that statement is within the confines of marriage and only for their husband.  When it is taken outside of the marriage, the woman is an adulterer or prostitute in the Bible.  However, within marriage, it is something to be celebrated.  All you have to do is read Song of Solomon to understand this.  It goes into great detail to describe the desire the man has for his fiancé/wife.  It also has the chorus that keeps saying to not wake love until you are ready, as in don’t go there until you are married.

But Song of Solomon is not the only place that we find this.

Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well.  Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets?  Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you.  Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe.  Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. (Proverbs 5:15-19)

Here is another example of a man being told to only desire his “lovely” wife and then it goes on to describe very specifically what should fill him with delight and that he should be “intoxicated” with her love.

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.  (1 Corinthians 7:2-5)

Can I make the logical connection here?  If a man did not think women were beautiful, if he did not desire sexual intimacy with her, would there be a “temptation to sexual immorality?”  I don’t think so.  For that matter, if everyone found each other neutral or ugly looking, would sexual immorality even exist?  The problem as I always see it in the Bible is when beauty is fixated upon or used to control.  The prostitute uses her body to entice.  The vain person uses their beauty to elicit praise or adoration.  Than man looks and lusts after a woman in his heart.  Sexual feelings are awakened (felt, focused on, and even acted upon) before the person is wed.

So yes, I can be a Christian woman who is beautiful.  And yes, I can be a Christian woman who is sexy—for my husband.  However, outside of my husband-only viewing, I would be promiscuous if I were to act or dress sexy.  And that’s where the problem comes in our society today.  So as a Christian woman, I stand for the sexy wife!  Last week, we talked about modesty that was corrupted by the world.  A Christian wife that is not allowed to be sexy and desirable for her husband is wrong (which is usually the complaint of people fighting against modesty).  As the above verse from 1 Corinthians states, we are to give our husbands his conjugal rights.  Are you going to do that looking ugly?  Are you not going to shower for weeks?  Of course not, just keep it for your husbands only.

through His grace alone!

Sarah

Modesty — Cares About Others

 

I know that this week’s topic can be kind of controversial.  Usually there is much heated debate on blogs and Facebook about this subject.  However, it is very important to modesty, and one of the many reasons we are called to be modest.  So, I cannot write without addressing the topic of dressing with a concern towards others’ weaknesses in sin.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”  (Matthew 5:27-28)

This is not to say that the person who wears skimpy clothing is responsible for that guy’s sin of thought. 

Modesty is Self-Control

 

Self-control.

Those dreaded words that are not used so much anymore in our society that is more concerned with bigger and better things than what we presently have.  Those dreaded words when we want something that we know probably won’t give us what we want, but we take it anyways; we act on it anyways.

Is this how God calls us to act?

Modesty—Glorifies God, Part 2

Another question that I posed at the beginning of the series was:

Do I even have a right to address this topic to other Christians?  Let’s not judge, right?

Well, besides the fact that God cares and gives me the authority to talk about such a topic, what I want to go into deeper today is how we approach a fellow Christian when they are not acting or dressing modestly.

Modesty—Glorifies God

So we know that God calls for us to be modest, but why?  I would say that the main reason for modesty, and really all things that we do, is to bring glory to God. 

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.  (1 Corinthians 10:31)

That is why we were created, and we usually fail miserably at it.  Our own desires war against us.  Satan and his gang are out to discredit and destroy anything that would bring glory to God.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.  (Ephesians 6:12)

We don’t have a chance, right?

Modesty — Prescribed by God

 

Whenever I start with any topic, especially ones that are not so clearly laid out, I also check to make sure that it is something that God cares about through His Word.  Modesty is no different.

Modesty is used a decent amount of times in the ESV translation (and others), yet it’s when you really dig deep into the Word that you see it throughout the entire Bible.  From Genesis to Revelation, I am almost positive that I could find some sort of mention in each of the sixty-six books.  That’s because modesty is so much more than just how we dress, and it is most definitely prescribed by God.  That also means that it applies to women of all ages, not just the teenagers or 20-somethings as most of our society is concerned with today.

Modesty? Pshaw!

Before I go any further, I want to tell you a little bit about my journey, so that you understand where I’m coming from.  Since this topic is such a hot-button issue, I want you to know that I come to it from an angle of love and understanding and not critical judgment.  Not that many years ago, I would have laughed in your face if you started to talk to me about modesty and then I would have promptly ignored you.

And now I’m writing a whole series on it, so let me tell you my tale…

Modesty: A Heart Issue

I felt like God has been putting modesty on my heart lately, not just for myself (that’s been an ongoing process for the last several years) but to write about.  Turn on the TV and you can see the different views of modest held by Christians.  There is a show where parents to children are concerned about modesty and run on the very conservative side.  Then there is a Christian TV actress has been quoted multiple times about wanting to show modesty and share her testimony, while being on a dancing show definitely not known for modesty.  My questions are these: