We are finally to the last post of the series on modesty. Sorry it’s so late; it’s been a crazy couple
of weeks here. This post has literally
sat open on my desktop for about two weeks.
Over the past month or so, we have looked at the heart of the issue of
modesty: what exactly is modesty, our motivation, our love of our God and
others, our self-control, and how the world has corrupted modesty.
As promised, today I wanted to spend just a few minutes on
what specifically I felt modesty looks like when I dress myself. These are my “rules” for myself as of right
now, where I feel called to be at this particular time. Your ideals of modesty might be less or more
than mine. We are all in different areas
of where God calls us to be. My hope in
writing this is for you to see how my heart shows through the decisions that I
make. I want you to be inspired to do
what you feel God is calling you to do in dressing modestly.
And before I go on, I just want to put in this disclaimer: I am not perfect. Surprising, right? While I have guidelines, there are days that
I am rushed and really don’t go over what I’m wearing when I fly out the
door. Sometimes clothes that seem to fit
well in the morning get stretched out during the day and become baggy. Or there is the fact that I am transitioning
my wardrobe, and sometimes find it hard to create the perfect modest
outfit. None of these are good excuses
for not being modest. But I wanted to
just put this out there before someone thinks, “well, the other day I saw her
break rule #4…” I am not trying to be
holier than thou with this list, but just to share where I am trying to improve
and set boundaries with what I wear.
Also, many of these are not hard rules that should never be broken; most
of these are just guidelines I like to stay as close to as possible.
On to the list!
1. I will wear
clothes that will cover from (and including) cleavage to mid-thigh. Clothing will also cover lower back. This is the least that clothing should cover. I try to aim to have skirts come to at least
the middle of my knee and try to cover up higher on my chest. I also try to wear clothing that has sleeves. This helps keep me modest when bending over,
sitting down, etc.
2. Many times I will
wear a tank top or shorts under a skirt to add in extra protection. If you have kids, this may be especially
helpful if they decide to grab onto your shirt or skirt and pull it down. This is also a good idea if you are doing
something more active. This is not necessary,
but does protect against those moments.
And when thinking modesty in dress, you must think about different
situations that could happen and what you could do to eliminate as much
possibility of immodesty as possible.
3. Avoid clothing
that draws overt attention to chest, butt, or crotch area. This includes things like embellishments,
cuts, or fabric colors. The key to this
is “overt.” I can’t hide that I have a
female body, but I can stop dressing to have people’s attention drawn to
specific parts of my body.
4. No clothing that shows any underwear, including clothes
that are so tight they show lines from underwear. This includes tank tops that don’t cover bra
straps or clothing that is sheer.
5. I try to make my outfit have some sort of femininity in
the outfit. I’m proud to be a female and
that God made me a woman. I want to show
God’s amazing glory it the fact that there are indeed two genders, both male
and female. Sometimes I wear
skirts. Sometimes it’s a frilly, floral,
or pink top. Sometimes I wear hair
jewelry clips. I just want to add
something feminine to my outfit. It
doesn’t have to be overly girly, but something that men would not normally
wear.
6. I try to dress
more modestly at church. Again, this is
not to make myself appear more holy, but to add extra protection for the men
who will be sitting next to or in back of me for the next several hours. I am there to worship God, not get
compliments on what I am wearing. This
is especially important if you are working as part of a ministry like music,
greeting, etc, as you are a representation of the church to others, including
visitors. Jobs have special dress codes,
so the church has a dress code of modest.
Also, if you are working nursery or children’s church, a more
comfortable outfit (read: clothes that get fruit punch or spit up on) can be
worn.
7. On the same vein,
I will dress up for church. It doesn’t
have to be something fancy, but not jeans and a t-shirt. Yes, God will still love you if you come
dressed in pajamas, but what are you saying to God with that? “I’m too lazy to show respect with my
clothing for you once a week when I come to ‘worship?’ Ah, but I’ll spend two hours to get ready for
that date tomorrow.” Yeah, I get where
your priorities are.
8. I will try not to wear too much jewelry or makeup. Or wear lots of expensive jewelry to show
off. This is more about accenting my
beauty and femininity, rather than trying to be a walking colorful bobble
billboard.
9. I will wear clothes that I like! A lot of time, dressing modestly turns into
something like always wearing floor-length skirts that billow out or, even more
extreme, wearing something that resembles the Amish. No offense to anyone that likes that style,
but I don’t. Well, floor-length skirts
every once and a while… There isn’t a
dress code! God didn’t give us one in
the Bible. He gave me the freedom to
wear things that I like, as long as my heart is attuned to true modesty.
As for other things…
The big swimsuit debate.
Christians in bikini’s, really?!
I don’t even know where to start when someone says that’s acceptable. There is no reason to be that scantily clad
in public other than trying to show off your body. Same goes with most one-pieces and
tankinis. I haven’t worn a swimsuit in
about seven years when I was on my honeymoon and yes, it was a more modest
tankini to the world’s standard. Now
that it seems like I need to start thinking about this again, I would not wear
that one in public again. Does the
swimsuit have to be like those really loose “modesty” swimsuits out there? I don’t think so, but I definitely don’t
think you could go to a store and just buy one either. What you decide on this will be personal to
your tastes, but please consider what you think as normal dress modesty and try
to get somewhere close to that. It will
be probably a hassle or more money, but do you think God cares more about your
convenience than about modesty? If you
answer yes, then I suggest you start reading your Bible.
The head covering debate.
For me, the jury is still out on this one. I have read the passages of the Bible that
talk about it. I have read extensively
on both sides of the issue of whether it was a cultural thing or not. For right now, do what you feel God is
calling you to do on this one, since this is not a salvation issue. I don’t have any other advice on it than that.
I hope that this blog series on modesty has got you thinking
more about how you can glorify God through modesty and that modesty is really a
heart issue that is reflected through everything else we do.
through His grace alone!
Sarah
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