Ephesians 1:7-10

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight, making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth. (Ephesians 1:7-10)

Saturday, August 9

My Personal Style of Modesty


 

We are finally to the last post of the series on modesty.  Sorry it’s so late; it’s been a crazy couple of weeks here.  This post has literally sat open on my desktop for about two weeks.  Over the past month or so, we have looked at the heart of the issue of modesty: what exactly is modesty, our motivation, our love of our God and others, our self-control, and how the world has corrupted modesty.

As promised, today I wanted to spend just a few minutes on what specifically I felt modesty looks like when I dress myself.  These are my “rules” for myself as of right now, where I feel called to be at this particular time.  Your ideals of modesty might be less or more than mine.  We are all in different areas of where God calls us to be.  My hope in writing this is for you to see how my heart shows through the decisions that I make.  I want you to be inspired to do what you feel God is calling you to do in dressing modestly.

And before I go on, I just want to put in this disclaimer:  I am not perfect.  Surprising, right?  While I have guidelines, there are days that I am rushed and really don’t go over what I’m wearing when I fly out the door.  Sometimes clothes that seem to fit well in the morning get stretched out during the day and become baggy.  Or there is the fact that I am transitioning my wardrobe, and sometimes find it hard to create the perfect modest outfit.  None of these are good excuses for not being modest.  But I wanted to just put this out there before someone thinks, “well, the other day I saw her break rule #4…”  I am not trying to be holier than thou with this list, but just to share where I am trying to improve and set boundaries with what I wear.  Also, many of these are not hard rules that should never be broken; most of these are just guidelines I like to stay as close to as possible.

On to the list!

1.  I will wear clothes that will cover from (and including) cleavage to mid-thigh.  Clothing will also cover lower back.  This is the least that clothing should cover.  I try to aim to have skirts come to at least the middle of my knee and try to cover up higher on my chest.  I also try to wear clothing that has sleeves.  This helps keep me modest when bending over, sitting down, etc.

2.  Many times I will wear a tank top or shorts under a skirt to add in extra protection.  If you have kids, this may be especially helpful if they decide to grab onto your shirt or skirt and pull it down.  This is also a good idea if you are doing something more active.  This is not necessary, but does protect against those moments.  And when thinking modesty in dress, you must think about different situations that could happen and what you could do to eliminate as much possibility of immodesty as possible.

3.  Avoid clothing that draws overt attention to chest, butt, or crotch area.  This includes things like embellishments, cuts, or fabric colors.  The key to this is “overt.”  I can’t hide that I have a female body, but I can stop dressing to have people’s attention drawn to specific parts of my body.

4. No clothing that shows any underwear, including clothes that are so tight they show lines from underwear.  This includes tank tops that don’t cover bra straps or clothing that is sheer.

5. I try to make my outfit have some sort of femininity in the outfit.  I’m proud to be a female and that God made me a woman.  I want to show God’s amazing glory it the fact that there are indeed two genders, both male and female.  Sometimes I wear skirts.  Sometimes it’s a frilly, floral, or pink top.  Sometimes I wear hair jewelry clips.  I just want to add something feminine to my outfit.  It doesn’t have to be overly girly, but something that men would not normally wear.

6.  I try to dress more modestly at church.  Again, this is not to make myself appear more holy, but to add extra protection for the men who will be sitting next to or in back of me for the next several hours.  I am there to worship God, not get compliments on what I am wearing.  This is especially important if you are working as part of a ministry like music, greeting, etc, as you are a representation of the church to others, including visitors.  Jobs have special dress codes, so the church has a dress code of modest.  Also, if you are working nursery or children’s church, a more comfortable outfit (read: clothes that get fruit punch or spit up on) can be worn.

7.  On the same vein, I will dress up for church.  It doesn’t have to be something fancy, but not jeans and a t-shirt.  Yes, God will still love you if you come dressed in pajamas, but what are you saying to God with that?  “I’m too lazy to show respect with my clothing for you once a week when I come to ‘worship?’  Ah, but I’ll spend two hours to get ready for that date tomorrow.”  Yeah, I get where your priorities are.

8. I will try not to wear too much jewelry or makeup.  Or wear lots of expensive jewelry to show off.  This is more about accenting my beauty and femininity, rather than trying to be a walking colorful bobble billboard.

9. I will wear clothes that I like!  A lot of time, dressing modestly turns into something like always wearing floor-length skirts that billow out or, even more extreme, wearing something that resembles the Amish.  No offense to anyone that likes that style, but I don’t.  Well, floor-length skirts every once and a while…  There isn’t a dress code!  God didn’t give us one in the Bible.  He gave me the freedom to wear things that I like, as long as my heart is attuned to true modesty.

As for other things…

The big swimsuit debate.  Christians in bikini’s, really?!  I don’t even know where to start when someone says that’s acceptable.  There is no reason to be that scantily clad in public other than trying to show off your body.  Same goes with most one-pieces and tankinis.  I haven’t worn a swimsuit in about seven years when I was on my honeymoon and yes, it was a more modest tankini to the world’s standard.  Now that it seems like I need to start thinking about this again, I would not wear that one in public again.  Does the swimsuit have to be like those really loose “modesty” swimsuits out there?  I don’t think so, but I definitely don’t think you could go to a store and just buy one either.  What you decide on this will be personal to your tastes, but please consider what you think as normal dress modesty and try to get somewhere close to that.  It will be probably a hassle or more money, but do you think God cares more about your convenience than about modesty?  If you answer yes, then I suggest you start reading your Bible.

The head covering debate.  For me, the jury is still out on this one.  I have read the passages of the Bible that talk about it.  I have read extensively on both sides of the issue of whether it was a cultural thing or not.  For right now, do what you feel God is calling you to do on this one, since this is not a salvation issue.  I don’t have any other advice on it than that.

I hope that this blog series on modesty has got you thinking more about how you can glorify God through modesty and that modesty is really a heart issue that is reflected through everything else we do.

through His grace alone!
Sarah

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