Modesty is Self-Control

 

Self-control.

Those dreaded words that are not used so much anymore in our society that is more concerned with bigger and better things than what we presently have.  Those dreaded words when we want something that we know probably won’t give us what we want, but we take it anyways; we act on it anyways.

Is this how God calls us to act?

But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.  If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.  (Galatians 5:16-26)

I’m going with no.  *smiles*  When we talk about modesty, we must talk about self-control.  So much of how we live to please God comes down to controlling our sinful nature to do what God wants us to do.  We are to clothe ourselves with self-control.  And God gives us the power to do that.  We should not squander what God has so graciously given to us.

But how should we apply self-control to how we dress?

Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.  (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

We are to be dressed in “respectable apparel.”  Respectable carries in it the word respect.  Would you receive respect for the way you dress?  Let’s not confuse the word respect (honor, admiration, esteemed, revered) with desired, wanted, or lusted after.  To me, that does not show self-control.  It shows more a wanting to be noticed, a wanting to be desired, and a need outside of God for affirmation.  Who doesn’t want to be the center of attention?

So we demonstrate self-control through being respectfully dressed.  We also demonstrate self-control by not being too crazy in our appearance to gain that center of attention.

The LORD said: Because the daughters of Zion are haughty and walk with outstretched necks, glancing wantonly with their eyes, mincing along as they go, tinkling with their feet, therefore the Lord will strike with a scab the heads of the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will lay bare their secret parts.  In that day the Lord will take away the finery of the anklets, the headbands, and the crescents; the pendants, the bracelets, and the scarves; the headdresses, the armlets, the sashes, the perfume boxes, and the amulets; the signet rings and nose rings; the festal robes, the mantles, the cloaks, and the handbags; the mirrors, the linen garments, the turbans, and the veils.  Instead of perfume there will be rottenness; and instead of a belt, a rope; and instead of well-set hair, baldness; and instead of a rich robe, a skirt of sackcloth; and branding instead of beauty.  Your men shall fall by the sword and your mighty men in battle.  And her gates shall lament and mourn; empty, she shall sit on the ground. (Isaiah 3:16-26)

Dressing to be the center of attention has been going on for ages.  It was a problem for the Israelites, it was a problem for the early church, and of course nowadays.  But I think God made it pretty clear of what he thinks about dressing to receive attention from others.  Yeah, self-control is definitely important in modesty.

“But look at what I have to choose from to wear at the store!”

I completely understand this, trust me.  But God calls us to be self-controlled, which also means disciplined.  Yes I can go into a store and not find one single piece of clothing that I find modest.  Try shopping almost exclusively at resale shops, and you’ve just limited yourself even more.  But the way that I honor God in how I dress is not to be discouraged by the world.

To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. (Titus 1:15-16)

What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed. (Romans 6:15-17)

The world doesn’t understand that the way it dresses most of the time, the outfits it idolizes, is immodest.  And so they keep producing more of it, especially when showing various parts of the body is considered “modern.”  We don’t want to be backwards or old-fashioned, right?

But God tells us that we are to follow him, and not the world.  We are to show whose teaching we follow.  There should not be a question that we are committed to the world’s fashion, but to a fashion that pleases God.  And it takes a lot of discipline to be able to do that.  It takes going to stores every season, or every few weeks for resale, looking through racks of clothes to find those gems that are appropriate.  It takes self-control to stop ourselves at the door to check that our clothes are modest before we leave the house.

It also takes some sacrificing.  Yes, I think some clothes are awesome and would love to wear them, but they would not be modest, so I must forgo them.  Sometimes I must layer my clothes to make them more modest.  Actually right now I do that a lot, since my wardrobe is in transition stages.  And sometimes I have to spend hours at a sewing machine, making or altering clothes to make them modest.  Not fun, but it is something that I do to please the Lord.

Self-control.  Not a fun topic to talk about, but one of utmost importance.  And remember, no matter how good you look, if you don’t have self-control, no amount of clothes, make-up, or jewelry will matter.

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. (Proverbs 11:22)

Join me next week for a more controversial topic: Modesty-Cares about Others!

through His grace alone!

Sarah