1950's Housewife

 

When most people hear the word “housewife,” they automatically think of the 1950’s.  June Cleaver.  The perfect housewife, with the perfect home, perfect marriage, and while mischievous, ultimately good children.  The housewife that cleans in a beautiful dress, pearls, and heels.

Personally, for me, as an “I Love Lucy” fan, I think of Lucy Ricardo as a housewife.  A very different view than the Cleaver mentality.  Lucy is not the perfect housewife, but usually is messy or late or spends too much money.  Her home is not always immaculate, although many times looks pretty good.  Her marriage, while presumably stable, has its own issues.  She constantly tries to get around what her husband says and more than a few times lies to him, although not always very convincingly.

While June is thought to be the perfect housewife doing the perfect things, Lucy is shown in more of a negative light by trying to break into show business and trying to pursue a career of her own.  She is told several times by Ricky, her husband, that she should just stay home and raise their children, because that is what she does best.

These are the ideas that I think permeate our culture as what a housewife is and what is expected of her.  Be a mother, stay at home, don’t work…  While not bad, in and of themselves, they are put in a negative light; it degrades women, many cry.  We shouldn’t even contemplate women in this role anymore, because it is archaic.  They view it as a no-respect zone for women; she is just there to look pretty and keep the home.  She has no value other than that.  She can’t be as good as men at jobs…

Where did these horrible thoughts come from?  I know from experience that people don’t understand a woman, with no kids, staying at home.  They think it foolish for many reasons; the main one being money.  They think that the SAHW is just lazy.  Really?

I think we should take a look at this whole idea.  I know before I had quit my job, and after, this viewpoint of the 1950’s housewife (translated: stupid, lazy, worthless) was one that I had to overcome.  First, I knew that society looked negatively at it; I knew, because I did at first.  I didn’t think that I could respect myself if I quit my job to stay home.  Even more so, I thought my husband and others would think the same thing.  And I found out that, while my husband didn’t, many others did and still do.  The looks and comments that I got after I quit my job ran the gamut from vaguely rude to downright mean.  And many people just cannot comprehend a woman wanting to stay at home.

Anyway, back to the views of women who stay at home…  The first was that I was lazy.  Have you tried to keep a house very clean and cook all meals (especially if you try to stick to whole unprocessed foods), besides fixing things around the house, while opening you home to people?  I had more on my list than I could do every day.  What most people don’t factor in is that my priorities of God first takes up a few hours a day, with the many different tasks that I do (think: Bible reading, non-fiction book reading, blogging, and many other hospitality/kindness/religious pursuits).

The second was what idiots we must have been to quit a well-paying full-time job.  The comment that usually is inspired is “well, I guess you can’t blame anyone for financial problems.”  Really, who would I blame if I was working full-time?  What they can’t comprehend is that we cut down our expenditures a lot to stick within a budget.  Many people who think I’m stupid for this decision, usually have cable, expensive cell phone plans, two cars, eat at restaurants regularly, and spend hundreds of dollars on groceries per month.  Want to know what your second income is buying?  We cut out almost all of the above.  And what isn’t completely gone, has been pared down to an extremely low amount.  And we don’t usually spend money on anything expensive.  We love playing video games, but guess where those come from?  Christmas and birthday presents from others.  (Thank you!)  We have an I-pad, but did we spend money on that?  No, my husband won it free from a business trip, and we do not do anything on it that costs money.  All the apps we use are free and we don’t pay for things within the games.  And we do things through my husband’s work that earns us a couple of hundreds of dollars in gift cards that we spend on things that we want.  I’m not stupid, so much as realistic about where our money is actually going.

As for the respect issue?  Well, as a Christian, who is constantly trying to strive to be a better Christian, even Jesus said that most people just won’t get our faith:

 

“If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” (John 15:19)

What matters is that my husband respects and agrees with the decision for me to stay at home, since besides God’s views on the matter, my husband is the only other opinion that I truly care about.  Sorry everyone else, you can think what you want about me.

What have I gained through leaving my job?  A much stronger relationship with God.  A much stronger marriage.  A great church family, and time to actually be able involved.  More maturity.  More strength of character.  A change of world perspective; I am no longer a lemming of society.   And I could go on with a longer list.

Yes, others might not get why I left my job.  They will put their own misguided views on what they believe my life is like.  They might not respect me or like me.  However, I will not let the world dictate how my life is led, nor will I let presiding viewpoints to rule my thoughts.  And neither should you.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.”  (Matthew 5:14)

through His grace alone!

Sarah